My Crazy Life: March 2010

Rodeo!!!!!

So I was going to write about one thing, but the topic completely changed with the help of Nash. I logged on and the boys were watching Spongebob (he drives me a little crazy). The squirrel on the show was singing about the RODEO and Nash started to do a little booty shake and make up words to the song, never forgetting RODEO. So funny and SOOOO cute.
It made me think- wouldn't it be nice to just sing and dance - and not care? Wouldn't it be nice not to be judged by those around us? When we are little, we don't mind what we do, who sees us , or what they think- as long as we are happy and having fun.
Then came the thought- Shouldn't we all live our lives that way? No mortals have the right to judge any other. There is only ONE who has the right to judge me. Why do I care what other people think of me? I only want to do what God wants. I want to do what is right form my family, for me, not what is right for other people. God doesn't care what we drive, what we look like and wear. He likes us to be ourselves, shoes and all (yes, I had to throw something about shoes in). I don't have to impress others the by the way they see me - but by the way I see me.
Now that said, I do find it hard sometimes, not to want to be someone else- and that green eyed monster does show up from time to time (sometimes when I least expect it). I do judge more than I should (I know I shouldn't at all). But these are parts of my RODEO. They come when I get bucked off my bull. I just have to get back on and be me for HIM and not that someone else for others.

Amazing People

God is amazing, and He puts amazing people in our lives. I am lucky to have so many amazing people around me. Conner, Nash, and Phillip are here gifts everyday. I am so happy to have them so close to me. They influence every part of me in numerous ways. I would not be who I am without my husband. He is really a great gift from God. Without Phillip, I would not have theses amazing boys who teach me so many things. I have a great and amazing grandmother and uncle, who have been there for me in ways I could never have imagined. They have taught me how to behave (sometimes badly, but in a good way). My sister is my best friend. I know that she is there no matter what I do and what I need. I feel the same towards her and her little family. Our Aunt Lisa taught her how to be an amazing aunt, and I am hoping that some of that rubbed off on me as well.
But Even though I have these great people related to me, I am blessed to know some AMAZING people that aren't. My best friend and her family are more like a family to me sometimes more than my own. I know that she, as well as her sisters will be there no matter whenever I need them. And yes, I have been known to leave the boys with their daddy to be with them, too. Her parents really are more like parents to me than my own. Sometimes that drives her crazy, but she'll get over it :) I am lucky to know some other great friends who make my days better. I know that there are some people, that just a small text message from them, can make a smile come across my face. They are just kind and sweet. They think nothing of just saying hi to let someone know they care. I hope that works when I try it.
Now the real reason that I decided to write this on amazing people is because of one specific person. Everyday she amazes me. God made one extremely beautiful person when she was born. We haven't always been friends, but we have known each other for almost fifteen years (man we are getting old). Her son is sick. He has Tay Sachs. He is the same age as Nash. She has known for over a year now. To hear her describe the phone call breaks my heart. She is so strong. She deals with this everyday and everyday she becomes stronger. Her son's father is not in the picture, but God picked a great man who thinks of him and his older sister as his own. Today, I got a message that Make-A-Wish is granting their wish:) I am so happy for their entire family. They are going to lay on the beach - he loves to lay on the beach. She deserves every minute of joy she has with her little boy. She doesn't complain. She goes on everyday and pushes through every road block. She rarely has a break and has had sleepless nights, but she would do anything for her kids. I see her as the mother I want to be, and as a person I strive to be. I am thankful to know her.
God really has blessed me with a great batch of people. I am so thankful that they are in my life and in the lives of my children.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kaidenlear

Pessimistic Optimist

First - this is a little scattered post. I find that Nash brings out my little scattered side :)
I try try try to by optimistic about everything. I am positive that is important. I want to be happy, upbeat and positive for my kids. I find the more I try to happy, the more I fail at it. Example: today I gave it my all to have a great day and so many things went wrong. I knpow that it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I am a negative nelly. I will make fun of myself. I will smile about tghe stupid things that I do and say. I will think things are good- then :
Ok- Here is my positive rant-
I am loving LOVING Goodreads. Thank you, Cary. It is a great place for someone who is addicted to reading. I have found so many new books I want to read :)
Hungry Girl is still my favorite e-mail. I have found so many treats. I am back down a pant size!!! Yay. See there is a little optimism in me :)